We live in...

a bloody hypocritical world don't we?

My first Flugtag

A day at the beach, lots of sun and lots of cute guys, left, right and centre!! the city welcomed the first RedBull Flugtag in the region on Friday-25th November at the Park. The show started exactly at 1:30pm as advertised. Flugtag in German means 'flying day'. If you were to take part, you had to make your own flying machine and also pilot it, solely powered by mechanical energy, weighing not more than 200 kgs and at the same time; able to cover a good distance before falling into the creek. There were points for pre-flight perfomance more like a stage act, creativity, the distance your plane covered and technicality.

'Cre8tive 1' won the contest winning private flying lessons and AED 35,000 (I think). Their idea was really cool. They had something like a monoplane attached to a platform with trolley wheels with the help of ropes. So when the platform was pushed over the runway into the air, two members released the ropes slowly so that the monoplane flew the extra distance. 'Drago Fly' came in second with their dragon like flying machine winning a parasailing adventure trip and 'Pumpa Plane' were placed third winning a tour of the city in the sky. SS Nakhla won for their creativity. One of the guys from the summer job, RM (really sweet fella) came in with his plane Woof inspired by their dog. DF and me wanted him to do really well but poor thing, his plane took a long time to be fixed on the runaway, plus it got stuck and flew only one metre. Better luck next time RM!!

There was this one team, the Los Matadores who had a nice tagline woth mentioning. 'Don't fight the bull, Fly the bull'.

The hostess- Rosanne kept getting confused whether it was day or night. Guess her black shades were really black!!! Apart from her silly commentary, she was there only to add glamour to the event.

Anyway, the day proved to be sheer enjoyment. Got a really sexy tan. Wanted to wear shorts but couldn't. Don't ask why... Too irritating a reason. Later on in the evening, DF and me sat on the sidewalk listening to songs under the stars while our picnic mates (immediate and extended family) played cricket and went roller blading with their kids.

Came home and crashed straight into bed. Maa Salama ya Flugtag... Do come back next year.

On the Roads

FINALLY. . .One and half months of driving around in a Nissan Sunny with blue stripes and a big learner's board attached to the top of the car with an instructor by my side. . . I have recieved my license that legally permits me to drive here. WHoop dE DoO!!!! V.v.v Glad and of course relieved. It's freedom now!!! The first two three days, Kept driving with my Mum. Would she get jittery or what!!! She used to make me nervous. Now its okay. Just need to be more alert and keep checking the centre mirror all the time.

R is finally gonna be over within 5 days and am sure gonna miss it. Ramadan- one month in those twelve months to atone for your sins and ask for repentence. For blessings. Ramadan is very special for me. It gives me a new lease of life, of spirituality and of peace. It rejuvenates me just as a spa would do for dead, lifeless skin. And its going away. . .

Catching A New Bus!

What do you do when you feel like an albatross around someone’s neck? And you can do nothing about it… The person is polite for sakes… Because upfront everything seems alright but deep down inside you know an invisible wall is being built so fast, that when you pull one brick out, five bricks are being put in that very second…When the silence irks you so much that you can actually cut through it with a knife… When there is nothing to talk about except the weather… What do you do?

Move on idiot… Life’s like a bus. When the bus you’re on stops for more than its while, then you can be sure, it’s time to catch another bus.

First Night at IC

Yesterday was the last night of celebration at the IC on the occasion of Navratri and Dusshera. And my first night at the IC. Had an awesome time!!! 2005 end resolution: Am gonna attend this thing religiously from next year!!!

The plan for the evening was that DF and the girls would get together at someone’s house, get ready together and go to IC together. So Mum dropped DF and me at her friend’s place, twins- vivacious and bubbly; TD and CD. MS also came there. Their parents were such darlings, ordered us pepperoni pizza from Pizza Hut. MS and TD were like the official hairdressers!! Patience is thou name young ladies!!! MS crimped DF’s hair, then curled TD and CD's hair. TD straightened my wild hair. For once I think I looked pretty!!! (lol..!! how presumptuous can someone get!!!) This was followed by a tedious session of make up. Finally we were all dressed. Everybody looked really pretty. DF was wearing a fusion outfit, a black gypsy skirt and a black strappy with a cream chunni and loadsa chunky jewellery!!!! TD, CD were both dressed in blue salwar kameez; highlight of the evening: their wonderfully Grecian styled curled cum straightened cum gelled hair. MS was wearing a green ghagra choli while Cheryl wore a lavender coloured one. I was wearing a kurti and good ol’jeans with chunky jewellery. (Next year I am gonna wear a backless choli with a long skirt and a heavy dupatta!! Promise!) We set out around 22:30, caught two cabs and got off at IC. Man! Was the place crowded or what… Everybody were dressed like crazy, tons of makeup and loadsa gelled hair!! Oh not to forget lots of skin showing too!! Hehehehe

Actually Navratri is a Gujarati event with folk dancing mostly- ‘garba’ and ‘dandiya ras’. Garba is a circular dance with lots of hand clapping while Dandiya is played with sticks in long, circular graceful moves. But at IC, Navratri is more of a clubbing event. Mostly it was remixes that were being played with like maybe 2 or 3 folk numbers, those also remixed from popular Bollywood movies. Think IC should rechristen Navratri as “Navratri-REmiXed!!!” Lol.... sounds so corny!!!

At first it felt awkward. But when we got to the dance floor we were all in the spirit. The music was s***y and the DJ was an arse. Nonethless we were shaking our booty and having the time of our lives!!! Some aunties were doing dandia and garba on DJ Suketu and DJ Akbar Sami remixes… hehehehe!!

Aly(my sister’s close friend) for some reason was dressed like a dope!! He clung onto MSlike there was no tomorrow!! Jeez…. Don’t know what to say. But I like him. He’s always the life of the party. Makes sure everybody has a good time. RB and HV(my sister’s friends again…. ) have recently started going out and looked so cute together. Those stolen looks and holding hands really looked nice on them. DF went and spoke to her ex boyfriend GK. Guess she really misses him in some way or the other!!

Gosh people boozed like crazy!! There were so many drunks around, had to be careful. Met OW, MNSH, PRT and MNL.

Had a great time dancing. Should do it more often. It felt really nice. Thought about the last time I had gone dancing at Avalon, a suburban disc in Mumbai. We stepped on the dance floor at 12:45 and got off in the morning at 6:00. It was so much fun with T and AA.

Got back home around 3:15 in the morning. My legs were killing me. Was really happy that I went for it. Farewell Navratri 2005 until next year!!!!

Wishlist for end of 2005

1. Find something interesting and really fun to do.

2. Make more friends here.

3. Add optimisim to my otherwise cynicism filled life.

4. Blog more often.

5. Mail five people I haven't written to in a long time.

6. Party atleast once at Tangerine.

7. Try out Chillis.

8. Watch five good movies before the year ends.

9. Stop judging people.

10. Stop thinking about what effect my actions will have on other people.

11. Have a huge fight with The Bitch.

12. Buy a new book (maybe?).

13. Lose some weight!!!

14. Buy an exclusive piece of footwear.

15. Stop fighting and bickering with Mum.

16. Keep the house clean.

17. Get that fuzzy thing called- 'laziness' outta my closet.

18. Stop picking on sis for little things.

19. Try to not buy any more clothes.

Will keep adding more as and when it comes to me. Take care you!

Pretty Woman

Starring Richard Gere (oohs) and Julia Roberts, Pretty Woman strikes a chord everytime you watch it. The chemistry between the pair sizzles. Edward Lewis (Gere) is a hard and ruthless businessman who buys companies only to tear them apart and sell piece by piece. The ruthlessness takes its toll on him, in form of loneliness, a mundane colourless life that he leads. Along comes a hooker for a week as an escort for Lewis, Vivian (Roberts), who brings out the best in Edward he himself didn't know existed. Ironically, he hired Vivian so that there would be no romantic hassles to distract him from a major business deal during the week, but at the end of the week, as he notices the changes in himself, he realises , that love has a way of surprising everybody.

The characters are believeable. Acting is natural. It's a very simple movie. Nothing too flashy. Yet when you watch the movie, you're on cloud 9 without a worry or care in the world. You can watch it n number of times, each time discovering something new, maybe a goof or maybe an expression. The point is, Pretty Woman is like a gift wrapped in many layers of wrappings.

Julia Roberts's fits in as easily as though it were her own skin. Richard Gere looks so HANDSOME!! (drools..). Especially when they're riding horses and he's wearing this open collar causal black shirt, with the top buttons left open. OH!! Would I melt on the couch or what...




He is SO HOT!! Have run out of words to describe Richard Gere

However my favourite scene is the one in which both of them are getting ready to go to the opera. There's an interesting trivia here that I found on one of the movies databases. When Edward snaps the jewellery box on Vivian's hand, (improvised by Gere). Vivian reaction was so natural that the filmmakers decided to leave it just as it is!




Edward and Vivian getting ready to go to the opera.

Pretty Woman is a wonderfully warm movie, simple in its expression and innocent in its romance. All in all, it's one of the cutest romantic movies that one hardly gets to see these days.

The Straits of Music

I remember buying Sultans of Swings for that one song, Walk of Life. I heard the entire casette once and didn't bother much with it. After a few days, I searched for the casette and heard it again. Dire Straits kind of grew on me. At that time, I was still a lot into garbage, trashy music what few people choose to call remixes, pop etcetera. Slowly Dire Straits started making its way into my walkman more often until one fine day I realised this is what Music is to me. Dire Straits with their guitar strings, smooth rock, jazz and celtic hues never fail to soothe my soul and awaken my wonderment. Mark Knopfler is an amazing lyricist. He just gets better and better with each solo album. Golden Heart, Sailing to Philadelphia and Shangri-La... Haven't heard all of em' but I guess each must be just as amazing!!

Last night I heard the title track of Sailing to Philadelphia and I am absolutely in love with it!!! I have heard it over 25 times and each time I hear it, it never fails to marvel me with its absolute simplicity and soothing vocals. I think am going to buy the album if I find it here. If not buy, atleast download the entire album from Ares. Difficult! but I can't resist the temptation.

Why me?

I feel as though I am the chieftain of the tribe of the 'Confused'. Why must all tribulations and trials befall me only? Why do I get caught in this vortex of emotions and at the end get screwed? I mean c'mon it's not like I go looking for such things...They are so many things on my mind. It's like thie weird rollercoaster ride that my thoughts are on and I am so scared. I don't want to make any wrong choices but I don't know the right ones either. And if I don't choose I'll never know. But then again, what if this choice is like that strong wind of change from where there is no point of return. It's like I am caught between what the world, my family expects of me and what I want. I don't want anyone especially my mother to be unhappy for me but... Am I committing a grave sin, if all I ask for is a life free from confusion and doubt? As my student DW says, "Wallah kasam... I don't understand anything"....

An Athlete's Book

Book of an athlete begins
With the track
A track that has lot to offer
It’s the base where
You could buy
Wings to fly
A feeling that you could earn
With your bear feet stammering
To speak the words of victory
As in when you are running
Towards the finish line
It’s either a second’s misery
With which u find defeat as your destiny
Or its shrieks of joy with
Which you uphold your pride
It’s the elegant grace to admire
How swiftly the legs move
One following the other
Composing a rhythm
As the lyrics of a song
And then its time
To say goodbye to
The lovely track
That has held you by
Taking back either
A pool of tears or
Medal and trophies jingling by...

---my sister

Words That Bring A Smile To My Face

"Kisi mausam ka jhaunka tha
Jo is deewar par latki hui tasveer tirchhi kar gaya hai
Gaye sawaan mein ye deewarein yoon seeli nahin thi
Na jaane is dafa kyun inmein seelan aa gayi hai
Darare pad gaye hai aur seelan is tarha baithti hai
Jaise khushk rukhsaaron pe geele aansu chalte hain

Ye baarish gungunaati thi isi chatt ki munderon par
Yeh ghar ki khidkiyon ke kaanch par ungli se likh jaati thi sandese
Dekhti rahti hai baithi hui ab, band roshandano ke peeche se

Dopaharen aisi lagti hai, bina mohron ke khaali khaane rakhe hain
Na koi khelne waala hai baazi aur na koi chaal chalta hai

Na din hota hai ab na raat hoti hai, sabhi kuch ruk gaya hai
Woh kya mausam ka jhauka tha, Jo is deewar par latki hui tasveer tirchhi kar gaya hai?"
----------------
"jis kii aa.Nkho.n me.n kaTii thii sadiyaa.N
us ne sadiyo.n kii judaa_ii dii hai"
---------------
"vaqt kii shaaKh se lamhe.n nahii.n to.Daa karate"
---------------
"nazm ulajhii huii hai siine me.n
misare aTake hue hai.n hoTho.n par
u.Date-phirate hai.n titaliyo.n kii tarah
lafz kaaGaz pe baiThate hii nahii.n"
--------------
"zindagii yuu.N hu_ii basar tanhaa
qaafilaa saath aur safar tanhaa"
-------------

This is beauty etched out in words. This is Gulzar.

Arrived

Muse you and I may
Who can but for certainty say
What life brings to our doorstep
Winding alleys and oft dark an embrace
That flicker of hope in our rusted lamp
Takes us through this refugee camp
For when the voice speaks from within
Loud and clear above the din
You may for sure say
Through this swerving way
My home have i reached
Among the golden maple and the beech.

Fragments

Fragments of painful dimensions
Pierce into my veins
Like the needles of ecstacy
They bring with them a haven of delusions
Blinding light of reality shielded
Cool shadows cast, into the courtyard of life

That shattering noise
Deafens me to my own breathing
In such a myriad of jumbled up thoughts
How do i find myself, how do i get to the real me?

On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams: For a while or Forever?

For a while, I have been away. For a while, I was happy, one because I did something that gave me joy, two because I was with someone who made me happy. But when realisation dawns upon you that one, you can't really always do what you want to or what makes you happy, and two, that being so emotionally dependent on people kills only you in the end, I realise I am back where I started. It would be unfair to say that all of this was an illusion because for a while, yes I was really happy. But now, I am back to Ground Zero. It's like living a fairytale life. Except that this fairytale anticlimaxes and instead of the "And she lived happily after", it's "And she struggles still..."

I am doing something, that I don't really really like. The only reason I have done well at it for so long is because, the methodology involved in the field, is more or less similar to the way I live my life. In a way, it comes sort of naturally. But the core of me is made up of entirely different stuff. I don't percieve myself as being intelligent. I am an average brain. Only, I work hard. I would rather be playing with colours, or with words. Because thats what makes me feel alive. Art. To be able to percieve the depth of a poem and yet still not drink completely its sweetness. To be able to mould beauty from words, from colours, from clay and breathe into them immortality.

Or again, maybe this is just another illusion I have. All my life, I have been living on shadows, of my mind. Armed with these illusions, I have committed the sin of being vain. Of being over-confident of myself and of my judgement. And this is the price I pay. Of not being able to ease my pain. Of not being able to wallow out of confusion and misery. Of falling down slowly, step by step. Of being a failure. Of being a loser. I have fought imaginary battles that have sucked my energy of me. I am a rebel without a cause. Is it really so or that my cause is un-identified? I have been running forever. From this cause, from myself, from hardships, from people who loved me. So much so that all my strength is lost and I am exhausted. I want to give up. On everything seen and unseen.

I walk along the boulevard of broken dreams among their pieces, ashes of burnt ideals and that naked, stark stranger called- REALITY whom I see scurrying away at the far end of the boulevard. The ideals have burned in the fires of frustration, yet as I feel their ashes with my fingers, they come alive in my soul. Even as I weep tears of futility, I take care not to let them dissolve the ashes. They are my only strength, my only support in this alien world.

They say, "move on, thats what life is all about." But I wonder now, what I should move on to when there is nothing left anymore. Each breath, each step is so painful. My head aches with exhaustion. It's as if every nerve in my brain is bursting at its ends.

I wish there'd be a hero to come and save me. Though I know, the only hero who will save the show is no one but me. Myself.